Nobody Checks Baby in the Corner!

There comes a time in every man's life when he will be required to stand up and defend the honour of his woman. For this Meanie, that time was this past Thursday night.

You see, the Future Mrs. Meanie and I play co-ed rec ball hockey together and during our last game there was "an incident". Actually, it wasn't really one big incident - it would be more accurate to say that there were a series of minor annoyances.

Now, you have to understand the level of ball hockey we play is classified as "recreational" only because there aren't any leagues below that level. However, somebody forgot to pass that little tidbit on to "Gloves".

"Gloves" is the nickname we gave to a goofball player on the other team due to the protective hockey gloves he decided to wear during our "REC" ball hockey game. I don't get it - did he think the little wittle bouncy ball was gonna hit him in his tender wittle fingers?? Or was it because he was planning to play ultra aggressively and was bracing himself for the inevitable retaliation?? Yeah, methinks you already know the answer to that loaded question.

Anyway, as expected, "Gloves" was playing like a belligerent little punk, hackin' and wackin' anyone who came near him with his stick. Now it's not unreasonable to expect to take a stick across the shins on occasion (as I said, it's rec hockey), but the offending actions are usually followed up with an, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry", or a, "Sorry - are you ok"?

But no such concern or sympathy was forthcoming from "Gloves". So he's a jerk - not really a big deal, I've played against plenty during my rec-sports career.

But then the Future Mrs. Meanie (who is new to rec sports and normally fairly mild mannered) came back to bench and let loose a number of expletives while describing her unpleasant experience out on the floor with "Gloves".

Well, it's one thing when someone repeatedly slashes me across the knuckles, but nobody, and I mean NOBODY messes with the Future Mrs. Meanie and gets away with it!

Enter The Screaming Meanie.

"Gloves" wouldn't be abusing too many of my teammates (especially the Future Mrs. Meanie) for much longer.

The next time I was out on the floor against him, I accidentally on purpose threw a monster hip check and flattened the son of a bitch.

Yeah I know, I'm the man.