I have a few stories to share from 2010, and since I don't really feel like posting one of those lame "2010 review" narratives, you're going to get them individually in easy to chew bite size pieces. And really, each of the tales deserves their own post anyway, so, buckle up and enjoy the first entry!
The first of these such posts goes back to March 15th-16th of 2010. A period of time I like to call - 24 Hours of Hell!
March 15th - You're Fired!
Losing a job is never easy. Losing a job you love is downright devastating! And that, is exactly the event that started my 24 Hours of Hell.Working out of a satellite office, I was in charge of sales for a local IT company. I worked with great people (in my opinion the best in the industry) and really enjoyed my work. The President of the company was someone who I admired greatly, and to this day is the best person I have ever worked for. Anyone, myself included, that worked for him, would have stood in traffic for him - he was that good!
Yes, it was a little odd seeing him in our office on a Monday morning, but I had no reason to suspect that anything was amiss. That is, until he and the owner of the company strolled into my office.
I knew immediately what was going on. I had been downsized once before, and when you're immediate manager AND the HR Manager and/or owner show up in your office, it's not good news.
I was told the company wanted to try a new approach to sales, to go in a "different" direction.
Look, I'm not stupid, I knew what was going on. Sales weren't where they should have been. I was not the sales rock star that I had been in the past. I was representing a premium product that was designed to improve quality of service, and ease IT pains.
However, premium service comes with a premium price tag - and I joined the company just a few months before the recession hit. So I was trying to convince companies to increase their IT expenditures in an environment when most companies were looking to cut costs.
It wasn't an impossible task, as I did have a lot of success, but it was certainly a difficult task.
And in the end, it cost me a job that I loved dearly.
I packed up my things, said goodbye to a few people, and sat in my car for what seemed like hours - I was numb from the shock.
The company, first class right to the end, sent me away with a nice parting gift, and gave me a glowing recommendation. It still sucked losing that job, but they honestly did what they could take away the bitter sting of pain.
I miss the whole gang.
March 16th - The Gold Digger
Ever dated someone, and thought that they seemed pretty nice, only to find out that they weren't the person you thought they were?? Of course, we all have. What sucks is that I always thought I was a better judge of character than that!
To keep a long story short, I had dated a girl we'll call, mmmmmmm, The Gold Digger a few years back. She was a single Mom of 4 kids (yeah, I know), and things were going fairly well. That is until the ex-Future Mrs. Meanie had one of her many "epiphanies" and I went running back like a puppy dog. Fast forward a few years, and The Gold Digger tracks me down on Facebook. We hooked up again, went out a few times, and everything seemed to be going well yet again.
On the day I lost my job, she texted me and told me her kids would be with their Dad for one more night, and suggested I should go over to her house. What am I gonna say, no?? So, the plans were set. Until, I lost my job. I'm sure you'll appreciate that I wasn't really in a hang out and make small talk kind of mood, so I begged out of our date.
The next morning I get a message on Facebook from her that says she's sorry, but she can't get involved with anyone because she's still not over the death of her Father (who had passed away 18 months before this).
Say what?!??
So let's see, we have a single Mom of 4 kids, who doesn't work, who's only source of income is child support, she finds me, I have a good job, and she thinks, ka-ching! And the day after her new source of income loses his job, she cuts bait??
Hey, I'm not mad that she did it (it was way too early for me to form any kind of emotional attachment to her), I just couldn't believe how transparent she was about it! Plus, it does make the whole 24 Hours of Hell story all that much better tell!
So now I've lost a job, and I've lost a girl! What else could possibly go wrong?? Read on my friends......
March 16th - Go Directly to Jail, Maybe
If you're family is anything like mine, you all get along, you all love each other, and you all look out for one another. Mostly.
And, you have a Black Sheep in your family.
On this day, the Black Sheep in our family was in rare form.
She came to the house itchin' to pick a fight with my Mother. And how do I know this? Because the Good Sister also happened to be at the house for a wee visit and Black Sheep Sister admitted it to her! The problem was, the Black Sheep Sister didn't know I was home (she was unaware that I had lost my job).
You see, in my family, everyone is afraid of the Black Sheep Sister. Everyone except me that is - C'mon, I'm the Screaming Frickin' Meanie, I'm not afraid of anything, except maybe the dentist.....but I'm working on that.
Anyway, the Black Sheep Sister is loud, obnoxious, and will yell, scream and/or cause a scene to get what she wants - and yes, she's a grown up......ish. Plus, she's a master of the guilt trips. However, I am immune to her tantrums.
She had stopped in to ask my Mother to babysit her kids on the weekend knowing full well that my Mom couldn't. And that's when all hell broke loose.
Of course, being the superhero in the house, I immediately sprung into action! I asked her to leave. She refused. Then she started getting all up in my grill about being a "Mama's boy". Yeah, I just worked "all up in my grill" into a blog post and it felt freaking awesome!!
I knocked a coffee cup out of her hand, she retrieved it, and before throwing it at me, she rolled up the rim just to make sure she wasn't throwing away a winner (it was during the "Roll up to Win" campaign at Tim Horton's).
I then grabbed her sunglasses and threw them to the end of the lawn and told her to get lost. I know that wasn't very mature, but it seemed like a better idea than wrestling my sister off the property.
She tossed a few more colourful metaphors my way, got in her car, and left.
I thought that was the end of another lively episode with The Black Sheep. She'd bitch and moan about how no one in the family loves her, and nobody cares enough to help her out, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
And then, the police show up at my door!! My sister wanted to charge me with assault!
I know, my own God Damn sister wants to send me to jail.
It seems that she told the cops that I took her to the ground and was beating on her and the only reason I stopped was because my 12-year old nephew pulled me off!!
Are you kidding me?!? Really?? Was I being punk'd?? Is that show even still on??
My sister has made up some creative lies in her life - but this one takes the cake! How in the name of the baby Jesus did she ever think she would get away this fabricated tale?? My Mom and the Good Sister were standing right there and saw the whole thing! Or should I say the whole nothing??
Well, the officers believed our side of the story as they didn't take me away in cuffs, but, that doesn't seem to matter to the Black Sheep Sister who will tell anyone who listen that her big brother beat the crap out of her.
*sigh*
I wonder what convinced the cops that I was telling the truth. Was it the corroborating account that my Mom and the Good Sister gave? Was it the fact that there were no marks or bruises anywhere on the Black Sheep Sister?? Or was it the ludicrous tale that her 90lb son pulled her enraged 250lb brother off of her??
I'm not sure, but let that be a lesson to everyone out there, if you're going to try to charge someone with assault, make sure they actually, you know, assault you.
When the cops left, I wasn't just closing the door behind them, I was closing the door on a very eventful 24 hours that will forever be known as, The 24 Hours of Hell.
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