Golf: A Tale of Broken Carts and Lost Clubs

Yesterday some colleagues of mine and I took advantage of the nice day and went out golfing. Actually, our golf outing was planned over a month ago and we've been praying for good weather ever since - who knew that prayers actually paid off??

What we really took advantage of was the super duper green fees the course was offering on this fine Thanksgiving weekend (yes, here in Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving on the right weekend - not like our goofy neighbours to the south). The golf deal - $32 for 18 holes and a cart! Yeah, go ahead, catch your breath, I'll wait.

While your catching your breath, I should put in a wee plug for the golf course - Oak Gables in Ancaster. If you're a recreational golfer, or a hack like myself, you really should give this course a try. The staff are very friendly, the course is pretty decent, and you can't beat their rates!

I should point out that I just took up golfing this year, and yesterday was the first time I've ever golfed 18 holes in my life. I'd golfed four rounds of 9 holes previous to this one. Hmmmm, sounds like I'm setting you up for something spectacular - I'm not, so please don't get your hopes up.

Anyway, with two foursomes ready to hit the links, I broke out my new golf shoes (thanks to my little Meanies and the Mother Meanie), my $35 used clubs, and my mad skillz.

It certainly was an interesting day.

Billy the Kid and ADAMantium (two of the four in my foursome) somehow managed to break a wheel on their cart. According to them, there were no shenanigans going on at the time of the breakage. They claim that they simply "hit a bump" going down a hill. A bump on a hill caused the wheel to snap and mangle underneath the cart??? What, do they think I'm new here or something??

However I can't really say for sure what happened - at the time of the "mishap", I was looking in the trees for a errant ball (I blame it on the wind). You'll be pleased to know that I did find the ball and rocked the next shot. Sort of. Or not. Alright, I was shooting from the base of a tree, what do you think happened??

I have to say, I did have some pretty good luck with the trees yesterday though. While the others were cussin' and swearin' looking for their balls in the woods, I found it's a lot easier to just bounce em' off the trees and back onto the fairway! No joke - twice I managed to ricochet balls off of trees deep in the woods and wind up with a favourable lie on the fairway! I told you I brought my mad skillz!

However I am glad that the future Mrs. Meanie picked up a dozen balls for me the day before (the "sure, I'll grab your balls" joke never gets old) or I would have been pooched! While I may have had great luck with the woods, the water - not so much. If there's any kind of water anywhere close to the hole I'm shooting, you can bet money that I'll find it! I lost a half dozen balls in the ponds and streams alone! If the object of the game was to hit water hazards, I'd be Tiger Freakin' Woods!

But golf balls weren't the worst thing I lost on the course yesterday - I somehow managed to lose a club! Somewhere between the 8th and 10th holes I managed to misplace my pitching wedge! Not that I know how to use my pitching wedge or anything, but damn - how the hell do you lose a golf club?!???

So how did I shoot??

Well, let's just say I paid the same green fee as everyone else and I got to play more golf than anyone in the group - save for my boss Jamie who really knows how to get a good bang for his buck!