M.A.D.D. - Meanies Against Drunk Driving

I had a crappy morning. And why? Well, the amateur that made my morning coffee at Tim Horton's certainly didn't help - I can handle a mediocre cup of coffee from time to time, but please, for the love of all that is screaming and mean, NOT MY MORNING COFFEE!! However, that's not the reason my morning was awful.

No, it's because some genius decided to have a few (too many) drinks last night, and then thought it might be fun to lead the police on a high speed chase. The chase, which was called off for safety reasons, resulted in Mr. Brilliant-Drunk crashing his car on the Queen Street Hill, which is one of the major accesses that connects the Hamilton escarpment to the lower city. The crash resulted in the closure of this access during the morning rush hour.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with the lovely City of Hamilton, when one access is closed, the overflow is funnelled to the other accesses (West 5th, Clairmont and Jolly Cut) which causes a nightmare inducing traffic jam.

That, is what ruined an otherwise beautiful morning. A drunk flippin' driver.

I suppose it's only fair to let you, my faithful readers know the fact that this moron was drunk was never reported in the press. However I, The Screaming Meanie (Mwuahahahahah), have my sources.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, pisses me off more than a drunk driver. And for the life of me, I don't understand why it still happens. We've all grown up with M.A.D.D. (the Mother brand, not the Meanie brand), we were raised watching a slew of Public Service Announcements, and we know what the results of drinking and driving are.

And yet it still happens. I've had two family members lose their license for drinking and driving - one was young and dumb, the other was old and dumber. They both should have known better. I've heard colleagues tell stories about how they drove home "completely wrecked" - which is usually followed up by the obligatory, "I'm not proud of it" speech (which begs the question, if you're not proud of it, why are you sharing it?). I've seen numerous pictures on Facebook of "friends" drinking (or weeding) and driving. All of it disgusts me.

I know first hand (well as first hand as you can get without being involved in an accident) the horrific results of drinking and driving. A few years ago my brother and sister were on their way home in a cab (ironically after a night of drinking), when they were t-boned by a drunkin' idiot. There injuries were not life threatening, but they were severe, and they were permanent. Police said they were lucky. Had their cab been one foot further up the road, they probably would have been killed.

One foot.

My brother and sister, who I love more than anything save my children, came within 12 inches of losing their lives.

12" inches.

All because some freakin' loser was too stoooooopid to call a cab. The only thing about this that gives me any solace is the fact that the drunk driver dickhead's injuries were severe - more severe than my brother and sister's as a matter of fact!

So whyyyyyyy, does it still happen??

The PSA's are out there. They're visible. They're consistent.

Police have apparently stepped up their RIDE programs - although I have seen no evidence of this (in the last 13 years, I have only been stopped at 2 ride programs). But they say they're there.

I believe that the penalties for drinking and driving need to be more unforgiving. The laws as they are now are a joke!

And since you've asked how I would punish drunk drivers, I'll share my brilliant ideas with you, my readers.

First offence, no matter how minor, you lose your drivers license. Forever. No second chances. No bleeding-heart-liberal-judge to give you a "you've been a bad boy" speech and then slap you on your wrist. You lose your privilege - not your right, your privilege - to drive for the rest of your life.

Of course we know this will result in people driving with a suspended license. So I have a plan for that too. If you get caught driving with a suspended license due to a DUI charge, you get an automatic 12-month prison sentence. No plea bargains. No half way house. Do not pass go. You go directly to jail! And you serve the entire 12 months.

Second offence - 36 months.

Third offence - 10 years.

If there's a fourth offence, you just don't get out again. Ever again.

Yes, I know, the punishment is severe - but what a deterrent. Do you think people might think twice about drinking and driving if their license is permanently on the line??

I'd love to know what you think. How would you dole out punishment?? Has your life been impacted by a drunk driver??

Oh, and do you remember the dumb ass that ruined my morning?? He has a punctured lung and two broken ankles - one of them shattered. I get giddy just thinking about him suffering!