I live with my Mom. There, I said it. Yes, I'm 38 years old, and I live with my Mom. But, it's not as bad as it sounds. Ok, maybe it is, but not really. Uhhhhh, just, read on.......
When my beautiful-ex-bride and I separated in 2003 (and I use the term "beautiful" with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek), I moved into an apartment near her house so I could be close to my kids. It wasn't a great apartment, but it was affordable - a small 2-bedroom unit on the top floor of a four floor walk up which was a pain in the ass when I did my grocery shopping.
After rent, utilities, gas, insurance, and child support was payed, there was very little left over every month. And by "very little" I actually mean "nothing" was left over! I lived that way for years. I never went out much, and dating was problematic as I rarely had money. Any woman I did date usually had to pay (sorry DA). But, this was the life of a single Dad who had chosen not to "shack up" with someone just to make his financial life easier (I'm a wee bit of an idealist and believe that type of move should be done for love, not money).
I could have gotten a roommate (which would have meant getting a bigger place), but I had two small kids and a teenage daughter - how much of a background check can you do to ensure that the person living in your house can be trusted around the three people who mean the most to you?
Then, 2 years ago, my Mother, who was in a relationship that was breaking down, suggested she move into my apartment with me. Say what?!?? Move into my wee apartment?!?? Something told me that wasn't going to work.
However, I did believe that she was on to something. I mean, if I was going to live with anybody, my Mom seemed like the perfect person. I knew I could trust her with my kids (and I knew that they would love the idea as they adore their Gramma), we get along great, and financially it would be a lot better for both of us.
So, together we found a very spacious townhouse, and made it our own. And it's worked beautifully! Not only has it been better for both her and I, but my kids have reaped the benefits as well.
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We've been able to do things that I never could have done had I maintained my autonomy living in my apartment. We've been to concerts, Canada's Wonderland, Great Wolf Lodge, Blue Jay games, and taken several day trips - not to mention being able to eat out from time to time or even go to the movies more often.Yeah, the dating thing is a wee bit tricky - I traded in being broke all the time for the stigma of "living at home in Mommy's basement". And honestly, it used to concern me. That is until I read an awesome quote in Randy Pausch's book The Last Lecture. To paraphrase that quote, what kind of woman would be attracted to a 38 year old man who lives with his Mom? - "The right one"!
I know what people think when you tell them that you live with your Mom - but maybe you need to consider that perhaps I don't live with my Mom - instead, it could be, that she lives with me!
